Conference Highlights

I just finished reading through all of the General Conference talks this week (for those unaware, General Conference is a semi-annual televised conference where we get to hear counsel and testimony from our prophet and the other general leaders of the church). I am always impressed by how many of the talks seem to have been written for me--just the things I need to hear and remember for the next six months. So here are some of the highlights from the talks this year, the parts that really jumped out at me, for myriad reasons, probably. Obviously, you just don't get the full effect from one little excerpt of each talk, I know. And I realize the things that some of these quotes will not have made the same impact on the rest of you. But, since this is my journal, here are my thoughts and impressions:

On his talk about the priesthood: "I include the sisters because it is crucial for everyone to understand what is expected of the brethren. Unless we enlist the attention of the mothers and daughters and sisters--who have influence on their husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers--we cannot progress. The priesthood will lose great power if the sisters are neglected."

-Boyd. K. Packer, "The Power of the Priesthood"

-It's always good for me to be reminded of the influence I have on my husband... especially when I feel like he's always the one lifting me up. It really is reciprocal. And I just need to remind him, on a daily basis, of what a wonderful man he is, of the power he has to guide and protect our family, and how grateful I am to him that he uses that power with such gentleness and love.

"Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized."

-Julie B. Beck, "And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit"

-It's just really good advice for any mother to remember, as much as we don't want to hear it sometimes. So my 18 month-old doesn't tell me thank you for changing his diaper. So what?! He loves me, and shows me in a dozen other ways every day.

"Hope comes from faith in Jesus Christ. He has already overcome the world."

-Wilford W. Andersen, "The Rock of Our Redeemer" (emphasis added by yours truly)

-This one statement, for some reason, was incredibly powerful to me! I forget all too often that I'm not slogging through my trials and battles alone--Christ already went through them, and He already conquered them. If I let Him, He will guide me through them as well, and I can lean on His expertise, instead of my own human failings. Isn't that something to remember?!

"Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world. The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home."

-L. Tom Perry, "Mothers Teaching Children in the Home"

-Ah, so our family foundations aren't built in a day?... So good to know, especially when they're still so young that they could care less about holding still for scripture study. It's getting in, on some level, day by day. I love that. Makes the task of mothering much less daunting.

"In the end, the central purpose of all scripture is to fill our souls with faith in God the Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ--faith that They exist; faith in the Father's plan for our immortality and eternal life; faith in the Atonement and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, which animates this plan of happiness; faith to make the gospel of Jesus Christ our way of life; and faith to come to know 'the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom [He has] sent' (John 17:3)."

-D. Todd Christofferson, "The Blessing of Scripture"

-There it is. Need I say more?

"Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about--as I am about Sister Holland; we shout it from the housetops. . . Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people."

-Jeffrey R. Holland, "Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul"

-I always, always love Elder Holland's talks. I love that he is forthright and unapologetic about his strong words. But this especially won my heart because it sums up everything I feel for Chad--everything he makes me feel! And I am sad for those out there who confuse love with lust, who can't get this. Who think, like Elder Holland mentioned, that if their fire is low, it must mean they need to move on to someone else. No! Absolutely not! If that is the solution you choose, you will be sadly moving from person to person the rest of your life, unfulfilled, never attaining the enduring, giddy love that is so possible and world-changingly wonderful (thanks to husbands out there like my Chad)!

"'Our family's faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes.'"

-Dallin H. Oaks, "Healing the Sick"

-I sort of want to write this in giant letters on a poster and hang it on a wall. I hope my children grow up understanding this fundamental, all-important principle of faith. That we exercise faith in Jesus Christ, regardless of whether we lose mothers, go through long illnesses, lose jobs or houses, suffer unjustly from the persecution of others, etc. Faith in Jesus Christ grants us the grace to move through all of those things, but only if it is founded on Him in such a way that, even when prayers are not answered how we wish, we know He is still with us, and it is His will that we strive to do.

To the young men of the church: "Satan would have you think that you are too young or that there are too few of you to do significant things with the Aaronic Priesthood. None of that is true. God's words to Moses are for you today: 'Behold, thou art my son;. . . and I have a work for [you]' (Moses 1:4, 6). He has given you His power to do great things. As you fulfill your duty to God, you will strengthen and bless your family. This is your greatest priesthood duty."

-David L. Beck, "The Magnificent Aaronic Priesthood"

-I am blessed to come from a father who is a wonderful priesthood holder. And the same goes for my father-in-law. However, this warmed my heart because I thought of my brothers, also great men of God, who I hope truly understand this as well--that they are capable of great things in the hands of the Lord. That their righteousness blesses our family as well. And I want my son to understand this as he grows--that he too is a force for good in our home, alongside his righteous father. Love it! Great words!

"Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace."

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Continue in Patience"

-Yep, hard words, but great words. True words. I need to work on this.

"Throughout the world and among the membership of the Church, there is great joy and great pain. Both are part of the plan. Without one, we cannot know the other. 'Men are, that they might have joy' (2 Nephi 2:25) and 'for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things' (2 Nephi 2:11) are not contradictory; they are complementary."

-Donald L. Hallstrom, "Turn to the Lord"

-I can surely say that I have learned this lesson... and life is truly felt deeper and lived more fully when this lesson has been learned. The sorrow of life is there to make the joy that much more deeply joyful! To live on the surface of life, where things are calm, where is the feeling? Do I understand the majesty of the mountains better from the plain or the deep valley? Depth gives life dimension, so give me depth! Difficult as it will be at times. The great joy that follows is worth it! (Having said that, this is not an invitation to the Lord to start giving it to me right now. I'm just acknowledging that it has come and it will come. That's all.)

"Second, we must become worthy examples. This is also a process. If we want our children to come to Christ so that they might see His face, it is important that we seek to see it as well. We have to know the way in order to show it them. We must put our own lives in order so that the children can look to us and follow."

-Cheryl C. Lant, "That Our Children Might See the Face of the Savior"

-Good reminder for me. How can I teach a child that which I don't know/do myself? Do my words, or do my actions, speak louder? What example does Coren see on a daily basis? What kinds of choices does he watch me make? What is it teaching him? What do I want to be teaching him?

"As President James E. Faust said: 'There is no greater good in all the world than motherhood. The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation.'"

-Bradley D. Foster, "Mother Told Me"

-Amen! Thank you, Mother!! I am working on it.

"President Thomas S. Monson stated: 'I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish--and in effect save their lives.'"

-James B. Martino, "All Things Work Together for Good"

-Isn't this so true? I know that the weeks that feel most fulfilling to me are the ones where I got out of my house and helped someone, where I served my husband and son with more love and enthusiasm, where I helped babysit or clean or whatever... where I did something that wasn't centered around me! And it feels wonderful! Even those times where we think we don't have time, doesn't it always work out anyway? And we feel so much better about life when we've done it, whatever small act of service it happens to be!

"To fathers and mothers. . . my counsel is to speak more frequently about Jesus Christ. In His holy name is great spiritual power. 'There [is] no other name given nor any other way . . . whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ' (Mosiah 3:17)."

-Neil L. Andersen, "Tell Me the Stories of Jesus"

-Again, enough said. I need to tell Coren more about the Savior--I need him to know that I know who Christ is, and how important He is to me and to us as a family! That He is the center of everything!

"Trust in the Lord's promise: 'Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest' (Joshua 1:9)."

-Ann M. Dibb, "Be of a Good Courage"

-There it is. God is with me wherever I go... even in raising 2 kids instead of just one. It'll be okay.

(You can find all of these talks in their fullest in the May 2010 Ensign of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or on lds.org . . . I'm an English major, I have to cite my material. :)

Happy Birthday, Momma.

The genius of the beauty of the stars

Is not the stars;

But is the space

That stands behind like black velvet,

Showcasing the stars

Like scattered diamonds.

What beauty:

That each brilliant shard

Must for a moment glow,

Then fade to black,

To become the background-

The beauty-

Of the birth of another star.

Momma,

I wonder why I didn't ask you how to make biscuits, how to give piano lessons, where you ran to when all four kids under five years were grumpy at the same time, how you could stand to make dinner every single night for 20+ years with a smile, what it was like to be a young wife and a young mother, what you thought of Chad when we were dating, and how it felt to be looking at earth and heaven at the same time. I wonder why I didn't record your voice singing familiar songs, why I didn't write down all the recipes you never wrote down, why I didn't take more pictures of you, and why I didn't tell you every day in those last months how very, very much I love you. There are always regrets.

However, even more reassuring to me is this: that your girls (myself included) spent late nights in your room talking about silly and important things alike, that you were home every day when we walked into the house to hear our latest news, that (hopefully) you never doubted how much we liked to have you along for firesides/meetings/activities because you were always there with us, that I knew you were the most wonderful mother I could have been given, and that I told you I loved you often enough that--despite missed opportunities--you already knew it. I am grateful that we knew enough to appreciate you and Dad, even as difficult teenagers; that our relationship was one of love. It is comforting to know the peace far outweighs the regret.

And I'm sure you know now, with the privilege of keeping a heavenly eye on us, how much more I miss you now--when I'm in the ER with my crazy child; in my disbelieving of your equanimity with seven when sometimes one is enough to send me over the edge; and when I ponder upcoming baby blessings, home projects and stressful parenting days. I begin to realize that there's a never-ending list of questions I didn't know I'd want to ask you. But I remember watching you, and I find countless lessons of wisdom in the memories. So Happy Birthday to my immortal mother--to one of the very brightest stars to fill my sky! And if I shine at all, it is because you are my background!

Coren's Awesome Room! #2

Apparently, I can only post five photos to a blog. So here are the rest! After two months of tedious work, we finally have a fantastic nursery! And we are ALL so happy to be done!!

Coren's Awesome Room!

Here they are--the pictures of Coren's room! And no, you don't get the full effect of the room, but at least you get to see all the little pieces of it... The Awesomeness is unstoppable!! I'm pretty darn proud! :)

No, The ER Doesn't Get Easier!

So, as usual, this is a little late coming, but here's our adventure of the week--my journal entry from May 12th:

Well, yesterday was quite the episode… Another trip to the E.R. for my boy! That’s twice in less than a year. Gee whiz!

I was babysitting Alexa and Noah yesterday morning while Ciara went to her doctor’s appointment. The two of them were playing downstairs while I put in a load of laundry. Coren, as usual, was wandering back and forth from playing with them to entertaining himself in other areas of the house.

Then I hear a giant thud, followed by one or two littler thuds, and there is my boy, at the bottom of the stairs, looking very confused and absolutely terrified for an instant. Then he started screaming. I scooped him up and hugged him, trying to soothe him. The spooky thought in the back of my mind was that there hadn’t been a series of thuds. So he must have been up on the shelf above the stairs before he plummeted. Just a bit worse than a regular stairs tumble.

“Are you all right?” I asked and looked at his face…. Yikes! Mom’s turn to be terrified. His mouth was full—FULL—of blood, and it was streaming from his nose. I ran up the stairs, instantly in a panic. I stripped off his clothes and started washing off the blood, just in time for panic moment #2: Coren suddenly goes limp as a rag doll in my arms—won’t stand, won’t hold his head up, won’t even focus on my face. “Holy nightmare!” I think, as two equally horrible ideas leap into my mind. “My son has got brain damage. Or he’s snapped his spine. I’ve destroyed my child’s permanent development!”

So what to do now? I’m pretty dang sure he needs to go to the emergency room, and here I’ve got my niece and nephew. So I call Ciara to see how far a way she is—luckily, she was only minutes away. And I called Chad…. Which now, as I reflect, could have gone better. I think my new rule should be to wait 10 minutes from the emergency, then call my husband. Because I’m certain the message he listened to was not very balanced in its delivery. It sounded a little something like, “Um, Honey, I’m just calling because I think I need to….. Whoo…. Just a sec………… Okay, (in a rush now) I need to take Coren into the emergency room because he fell and he’s bleeding from his mouth and nose and I’m not sure if he has a concussion anyway I’m just wondering what you think okay call me back when you get this bye.”

As soon as Ciara walked in the door, I headed out the back door. “There’s pizza for the kids in the oven. I’m taking Coren. Bye!”

I scooped him up and took him out to the van. Panic moment #3: he vomits everywhere! Everywhere! Ciara came out and took him, and I raced into the house for clean jammies. When I came back out, Ciara (angel!) was cleaning the throw up off the car seat and the van floor (and, when we got back from the day’s ordeal, we discovered that she had cleaned all the throw up off the garage floor AND cleaned the whole house too—what a lifesaver!!!). Once it was wiped down, I stuck him in his seat and we raced (carefully) to the urgent care.

Once we got there, the receptionist had to call around and find out if our insurance covered that particular urgent care—ugh! So I’m waiting in the lobby for well over twenty minutes, the entire time trying to keep my boy awake… just in case. I mean, that is what you’re told to do with a concussion, right? Don’t let them go to sleep. And the poor dude was totally out—I don’t know where he was, but he certainly wasn’t anywhere in this world. So I’m rubbing his back, rocking him back and forth, lifting him in and out of my lap, whatever I could do to keep him awake. And he was barely hanging on to consciousness! Meanwhile, Chad is calling every few minutes to get updates, wishing he could be there, my poor husband!

Well, we found out that we were covered, so in we went to talk to doctor #1… and in five minutes we were back out the door, headed to the emergency room in American Fork. The doctor said that Coren needed a CT scan and they didn’t have the equipment for it there. So off I raced again, yelling at Coren in the back seat to keep him lucid. (On the upside, they refunded us our $35.)

We got to the ER, and I had my first wave of relief. While we waited to be called in, Coren started wiggling fingers and toes and sitting up to look at me. So the paralysis threat was out, thank heavens! My child is not destined (yet) to be a paraplegic! After a few minutes, he was up and walking around again and talking to me in his normal little nonsense words. Hooray! So his brain was still functioning… at some level, at least! Well, that helped ease the panic significantly. And now it was starting to feel more like a check-up than a life-threatening disaster (though Coren still looked like a disaster—bloody nose and flushed cheeks; and I still felt like a disaster, of course, being the mother).

And then Relief #2: Chad walked into the ER room! My husband left work early (thank you, Mitch, for covering his meeting—another lifesaver!) to be there for added comfort… Now I know he was just as worried and anxious as I was about the whole episode; but I also can’t help but wonder if he was thinking, “Well, it’s just Charity there with him, and we all know how well Charity handles emergencies…I better get over there and keep her from falling apart.” My husband! My wonderful, fabulous husband! He is the only reason I don’t fall apart more often than I do!

So they took the boy away for some head x-rays, Chad going with and me staying behind, since they discourage pregnant women from x-ray radiation, you know. Chad said he did better than last time (at six months old, when he broke his leg and got full body x-rays), but he still put up quite the tantrum when they made Chad let go of him to strap his head down. Oh, my poor dude! Really, a child should not already have this much radiation exposure—I mean, not even 18 months?! What gives?! And Coren is not a crazy kid, that’s the kicker! He’s as mellow as they come. Holy smokes! Anyway…

Results came back, and everything looked normal and fine. Whew!! The doctor told us that he had suffered a concussion, which turns out to be a good thing! Who’d have thought?! Apparently, if it’s not a concussion (when accompanied by such symptoms as vomiting and dazed confusion/loss of consciousness), then it’s something much, much worse—blood clots, hemorrhages, permanent brain damage, etc. So we counted our many, many blessings and took our exhausted boy home. NOW he could sleep, and he certainly did!

We spent the rest of the evening (after he woke from his colossal nap) just relaxing around the house. None of us—Coren especially—were in any kind of mood to play, so we just sat on the couch and watched a movie. He was super-clingy the rest of the night, hardly even letting Chad hold him… so I snuggled him, and the three of us mellowed out together, grateful to still be together. Then he woke up the next morning as normal and joyful as usual, playing and laughing, and looking pretty banged up, but great! We’ve been giving thanks ever since! How fancy to have a boy that keeps us on our toes… and how odd that he’s the last boy you’d expect repeat ER visits from. I guess that keeps life fun and unpredictable, right?... Or maybe just unpredictable.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things.

Got to be my favorite photos right now. Not sure they can be beaten.

Cruisin'...

We went on a lovely cruise the beginning of this month (I'm such a punctual blogger!), and IT WAS FABULOUS! Oh, a very much needed vacation--for Chad and me together, but especially for Chad, who's had a stressful few months. A blissful 7 days of no work, no child (though I love him dearly), and no cooking or cleaning. Does it get any better than that?! Here are some of the highlights of the trip:

-Eating, eating and more eating! Let's see, this was my first time trying: lobster, duck, and snails. Delish! And my first torta since the mission--oh, so wonderful!!

-Snorkeling in Cabo San Lucas. (I also burned my legs so badly I could not walk the next day--hooray for stupidity!)

-Talking to people in Spanish... discovering I still can! Woohoo!

-Our family rockin' it in the triviathons (even if we didn't ever win).

-Our family rockin' it in the karaoke lounge--Even Mel got up there; Surely canst go, girl! And seeing Brittney dance was an added bonus! Too cute!

-Winning art at the art auction because Chad was the loudest one there. That's right.

-Being rocked to sleep every night on the ocean.

-Spending a week with all the married couples in the fam, and just loving the time together!! So, so wonderful!! We'll have to do this again in.... oh, ten years or something! :) Thanks Pops and Andrea--we couldn't have asked for a more fabulous vacation this year!!!