Just Plain Stubborn

Sometimes I wish everyone could spend a day with my son. One full day with Coren.

Then they would understand stubborn. They think they know now...

I used to think he was a normal two year-old, with normal craziness and such. But almost a year--and countless comments--later, I understand that he's on the far end of the two year-old spectrum (two guesses for which end I'm talking here). People that I know, people that I trust, people that have had multiple children themselves, have commented on the....individuality of my son. That's when my own personal suspicions were validated.

Now let me say this: I am grateful that Coren is an individual! 

He has some unique characteristics that just make me grin, that fill me up with humor and pride. This incredibly vivid imagination has just started to emerge from his little mind... and it is spectacular! And I know, growing up, the individuality of my son will be a blessing and a wonder.

But add the two year-old's quest of asserting independence, defiance, busy-ness, space-out-ed-ness, whatever, to the individuality.... well, that also makes for some great fireworks sometimes! 

And, and...can I say this? The other tricky part is that others' advice doesn't work. It is hard to discipline when  time-out, taking away privileges, and spankings elicit zero response. Contrariwise, it is hard to motivate when treats, rewards, and toys also elicit zero response. So when someone says, "Well, this always worked for my kids...." I try not to, but I zone out. Almost immediately. And I think, "Yes, it probably did. Because I've seen your child. They respond sometimes." 

What I really want is some exhausted parent to come up to me and say, in perfectly blunt honesty, "You know what, my child was psychotic. Nothing worked for him. He's fine now. But I don't really have any good advice for you. Sorry."

Then I would know: That parent had a child like Coren. 

I got that once. When I was venting about the impossibility of Coren one day, my dad--man who loves to talk, who knows just about everything, and whose advice I can swear on about ninety-six percent of the time--grinned and said, "Yep."

Maybe I was an individual. Maybe there's hope. Maybe we'll reach three.

Maybe.